Thursday, December 4, 2008

Car tricks

My kids are good at many things (of course I think so; I am their mom), but one thing they are really good at is puking in the car.  They have perfected the talent or the ironic capability to time this puking so that it occurs only in one of three situations: on the way to work (or church) when we are running late, on the way to a function requiring dress clothes, and on the way home in 5:00 traffic.  Today, it was the latter.  Bonus points to Keeton who also successfully covered his new wool peacoat in the remains of his lunch.  Ella loses points for waiting until we walked in the house and then covering her new velvet coat in the same, said lunch.

 And what is with the car seat companies who make these seats where the straps and buckles don't come out?!  I'm freakin sitting on the floor in the garage in my work clothes in 20 degree weather attempting to pry the screws (8 of them, to be exact) out of the back of the pentagon secured back cover of this seat and then finally, after I've removed them, I remember from the last puking in the car incident--oh yeah...straps don't come out...crap, that will be about another month before I can drive without the sun roof open...

 Oh-did I mention Jeff is working late tonight?  So, I get all the coats (washable, thank God), the clothes, the car seat cover all in the wash and Ella has stopped crying and then both kids tell me they are starving.  Yeah--I am NOT...wonder why.  Do we have any bread, saltines, Cheerios or Sprite...nope, of course not.  Pancakes it is...at least I figure if they come up I can handle that better than other options (mac and cheese, hotdogs). 

 I get dinner started and Keeton is crawling all over the brand new sofa in the family room.  I know I am mean, but I haven't had nice, new furniture (that doesn't come in a box) in Keeton and Ella's combined years, so I get a bit possessive and we set up camp on the floor with sleeping bags and prepare for a long night...

Monday, December 1, 2008

Christmas tears…I mean, trees

As you recall, Jeff took great pleasure in torturing Keeton with the monkey mask prior to Halloween.  Now that we've moved on to another holiday, it's apparently time to find a new way to incite tears. 

 Per tradition, we set out early Black Friday morning to shop for a Christmas tree (yeah, everyone else was shopping for electronics).  This year we were prepared--we knew the height of tree we wanted, the diameter, and even remembered rope to tie it to the top of the SUV.  In fact, our preparation made for a quick in-and-out selection at the tree lot (no--we don't cut down our own trees).  Of course, with Keeton and Ella running around hundreds of trees precariously perched against walls we sort of felt the pressure to be efficient.  After selecting our tree,  Jeff and a tree lot employee tied it to the top of the car (that's why we go to this particular lot--they help tie the tree). 

 I have to preface the rest of this by saying that our kids are kind of used to things not going quite as planned when it comes to large items tied to the car.  For example, in April we ran to Menards (roughly a mile from our house) and bought a twin mattress for Keeton.  We had no sooner left the parking  lot (where they refuse to help you tie anything down) then the mattress went flying off the roof of the car, skidding solidly behind us in the road.  We made it home that day, about 1 1/2 hours later (remember-1 mile) and I'm pretty sure that my hands were permanently cramped for several days from holding the mattress down through the open windows.

So, here we are--another opportunity to demonstrate our prowess of tie-downs.  As we set off I anxiously watched through the moon roof for any sign of tree shifting--so did the kids.  At first, Ella seemed humored by proclaiming the tree was falling.  Then Jeff said that if the tree fell we were in trouble because we'd have to stop and get it.  Hmm...food for thought.  As we crossed the bridge over the river he pointed out that if the tree fell now we'd loose it forever in the river...silence...then huge, sobbing, cries from the back seat.  I looked back to see Keeton's mouth twisted into a painfully sad shape with fat tears sliding down his face--I'm pretty sure I've never seen him look that sad.  "No, tree...my tree" he was wailing, as if the tree and he had been best buds forever.  I have to admit--Jeff and I started laughing--and then we saw Ella, also sobbing, her little nose and eyes all red. 

 Is it awful that we found such humor in this scene?  Of course we allayed their fears of the tree becoming barge kindle and we made it home just fine.  I am sure hoping they don't think this thing is going to be around past January 1st.  We may be the first people to ever have to get a rebound tree...maybe a silk version?