Friday, December 28, 2007

On the “Imaginary Friends”. . .

As mentioned in the header, "Today and Tomorrow Day" is a blog about our lives with two toddlers, a spastic dog, and the occasional imaginary friend. For a while (actually, about 6 months), we had another child - a four year old boy named Kevin with curly blueish-black hair and black teeth. Kevin showed up in Ella's little three year old mind around the time we were preparing to move. Jeff and I thought it seemed normal (at least not too abnormal) for a three year old to invent a friend who could move with her to her new house, so we entertained the concept and presence of "Kevin" as much as possible. Kevin played games with Ella - often times games such as "Chase" -- Ella would run frantically around the house laughing as Kevin apparently chased her and every once in a while, tagged her. Cute. Kevin did EVERYTHING Ella did. At bedtime we had to make sure we didn't sit on him when we sat on Ella's bed to read her book. Ella would matter of factly explain, "Kevin is sleeping in my bed tonight and he doesn't want you to sit on him." Umm, okay, where do we even START with that one?

Kevin ate with us, rode in the car with us, and argued with us. "Kevin says I don't have to eat my fruit--he doesn't like fruit either." Sometime after we moved and Kevin made his successful voyage with us, he got mean. Ella, sitting perfectly quietly (as perfectly quietly as a three year old does) would tell me, "Kevin hit me!" This type of behavior continued on for about a month with Jeff and me attempting to convince her that Kevin was a bad-deal, that real friends don't hit, and all the while, trying very hard not to undermine her creativity by blurting out, "Kevin is not real! He CANNOT hit you!" After all, we knew it was hard on her to move and that she had to deal with it in her own way.

One day while Jeff's mom was over, Kevin unleashed another one of his silent attacks. Having seen this before, and apparently set to do something about it, Jeff's mom stopped whatever she was doing at that moment, squatted down to be eye level with the invisible offender and her granddaughter, and told Kevin that he needed to go home. Turning to Ella, she repeated the message we had unsuccessfully been trying to get across to her, "Kevin is mean and he can't play with you until he learns to behave." Ella's response, "Okay".

Kevin didn't show back up that day, or the next. In fact, he came around much less frequently after that. We were surprised, but secretly relieved...Kevin had been starting to worry us. One day we finally got bold and brave enough to ask Ella about him. "Kevin is mean and I don't play with him," she said. Whew! "But Ben is my new friend; he's nice!"

Alas, she is a creative little kid. . .

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