Tonight we had to make a trip to Kohl's to spend a gift card that was due to expire Saturday. Lately, taking Keeton anywhere is a monumental pain in the. . .
So, we are always so excited to go somewhere with him--especially in the evening, after a full day of daycare, a full day of work for us, after pulling him kicking and screaming from the swingset where he had no intention of leaving and putting him in the car to go to a store where we just need to buy "something", "anything". In otherwords, there is no plan and we try to never go anywhere without a plan, mainly because plans are much faster, in and out situations.
So, we get to Kohls' and Keeton is in high spirits--ready to dash across the crowded parking lot; who cares about cars? I am already seething by the time we get to the doors, but figure I might be okay--Kohl's has those shopping cart/stroller combo-deals and they have seatbelts!
Amazingly, both kids want to get into a cart, so off we go. They were completely entertained as Jeff and I pushed them down the aisles--laughing and screeching (but happy screeches, so those aren't a battle I fight). This lasted until we reached the toddler department (approximately 4 minutes).
Now we are shopping like the contestants on the old tv show "Shop till You Drop"--as though there is some timer ready to go off in 70 seconds, signaling us as the losers--consilation prize is two cranky toddlers. Jeff took Keeton to the toy section so that Ella and I could find the "something", "anything" quickly. After settling on a dress for church, we made our way to the toys, then to the shoes, then to women's...still no Jeff, no Keeton.
Eventually, I hear them coming (Keeton, anyway). I think we are leaving and Jeff sees the dress. He makes no comment; he doesn't like it...it is too "long" (huh? remember that when she is 16). So, dilemma--buy the too-long dress or go back to battlefield, with the timebomb (Keeton) in tow. I suggest we scrap the buy "anything" plan and get the kids underwear--Ella needed some and Keeton might one day decide he doesn't like diapers.
After 10 minutes trying to locate the kids' "underwear with characters on them" section, complete with Jeff's annoyed comments about the layout of the store, we are once again off to the check-out. Check-outs are my nightmare. If hell is a place of one's biggest annoyances, it might be checkouts where I am trying to contain multitudes of whining toddlers. Keeton and Ella plop their underwear selections (Diego and Minnie Mouse, respectively) on the counter, Keeton runs down a few aisles (Jeff takes chase), Keeton tries out a few straws on some coffe-like travel mugs (this is why you are supposed to wash things first--toddlers slobber on them in checkout lanes), and we finally pay and leave. And yes, I did stop him on all the above activities...
In the car I sigh a relieved breath and realize it only took us and hour and a half to buy "anything", not bad. Looking back to the kids, Ella has opened her underwear and has one pair on her head--"Look! I have underwear on my head!" Of course, Keeton does the same, but he just plops a pair on top of his head--no intricate fitting of leg-band elastic over the ears like Ella has done.
Jeff and I laugh and Ella, annouces, "I am a booty-head!" Then, "No, I'm a butt face!"
Hmm, maybe we shouldn't egg her on...this could come back to bite us in the proverbial booty...kindergarden is one year away, but the kid has a scary memory. I can only imagine the teacher phone call on that one...
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