Since I am kind of feeling like "mean mom" today (day number 3 out of 4 that Jeff has had to work late and I'm not "chipper"), I thought I'd share an idea that could save other moms and dads sanity and money, and did I say sanity? Chuck-E-Cheese, the place kids go to get a carb/soda high while using their greasy-pizza fingers to touch all sorts of loud, electronic games that my children will then touch, thus becoming contaminated by other kid's greasy finger germs is pretty much what hell would be like for me. My nerves go on overload as I try to keep track of where my kids are (usually one is fending off another, bigger kid whose parents have apparently told him to "make sure you get all those tickets other kids don't get!" even though my kid hasn't even finished his game), or worrying about the aforementioned germs from the ball pit. Then, there is the NOISE!! And if the noise itself wasn't enough, the teacher and responsible parent in me has to hold back from telling other people's kids to stop running, stop swearing, stop stealing my kid's tickets...
When it is FINALLY time to go, you get the pleasure of standing in obscenely long lines while kids shove tickets one at a time through a slot which then adds up the precious commodities to then be used to purchase....JUNK. Ella can spend some VERY long minutes deciding which plastic ring, stale tootsie role or five cent tattoo she can purchase with her 100 tickets (read $20 in token money from me). Yep, I can't stand this place.
SO, without further delay, parents, this is what you have to do. This only works if you haven't already been suckered into taking your kids on a regular basis, though.
Ella: Can we go to Chuck-E-Cheese?
Me: (All apologetic) No, honey. You know it is invitation only. You can only go if someone invites you to a birthday party or something like that. It isn't just open.
Ella: Oh, I forgot. Can Aunt (insert any aunt, grandma, grandpa name here) take me?
Me: Sure! If they were invited. Let's call and see!
And so goes my scheme...
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